I have a conflicted relationship status with the phrase, “It is what it is.” Not because I’ve never seen it be NOT what it is. In fact, it’s always what it is. I’ve never seen it not be what it was! 

At the same time, this becomes problematic when it’s used as an excuse not to take action. Early in my career, I was the Director of a large department that had just gone through a very public failure that had led to some unhappy businesses and partners. In our debrief, we talked through how we had gotten there, noting that the top 3 issues were: not enough time, not enough money, not enough staff to complete the work. When I posed the question about how we were going to solve the problem despite these significant barriers, the team member leading the discussion from the operations side simply looked at me and shrugged, saying, “It is what it is.”

He wasn’t wrong! It WAS what it was. And at the same time, we couldn’t use that as an excuse not to solve the problem that had caused the issue in the first place. We had to tackle these challenges head on within the context of our additional work and find a way forward. Ultimately, that’s exactly what we did. 

I also ended up temporarily banning the phrase “It is what it is” after that meeting. It had become too deeply ingrained in the department as an excuse to not address really challenging issues. 

Part of my services I offer include deep-dives into organizational culture via employee engagement focus groups. I love spending time understanding the intersection between goals and desired culture and what’s actually happening at an operational level. In a past focus group, one of the participants started off by saying, “I don’t like focus groups. I don’t find them valuable, and they don’t usually change anything.” 

After I’d reminded him we weren’t in a mandatory session and he was free to opt out, we chatted a bit about why he felt this way. His response? Yup. “It is what it is.” To him, he felt the issues in the organization were immovable and so far out of his control and influence that things would never change, despite the fact that his very same organization was literally convening groups to talk about how to make positive changes the employees wanted to see. When he said, “It is what it is,” I simply responded, “Is it?”

Is there anywhere in your life that you use this phrase as an excuse to get out of trying to make the changes you want to see? I always think of it as a license for ongoing unhelpful behaviors. I know I’ve heard “It is what it is,” come out of my own mouth, and it’s almost always used as some sort of acquiescence to a challenging situation, a giving-up of sorts. 

Next time you’re tempted to use this phrase, go ahead and get it out there, but try adding, “Or is it?” to the end. Maybe that extra little challenge will provide enough of a spark to get your creativity going!