It feels pretty yucky today.

I didn’t have a great start to the morning. Last week was kind of hard, and I don’t feel like I got the rest I needed (let alone wanted!) this weekend. I’m writing this on a Monday morning and looking ahead at the week, mumbling “Holy crap, how am I going to do this all?!” to myself. 

In short, it feels yucky. 

Now, I’m a big fan of optimistic thinking, intentional mindset work, gratitude practices, burning sage, screaming into a pillow, going for a walk around the block in the sunshine – ALL THE THINGS to help us feel better. I’m also a big fan of being authentic, and today is a day when none of those things feel like the right thing. 

Today, I’m going to write up a “yuck-it” list. 

Yep, I’m not feeling even remotely sunshiny today, and my energy is low. I feel like I can’t quite combat some of this, so instead, I’m going to inventory it and simply sit with it and see what it has to tell me. Here’s today’s “yuck-it” list:

• I’m exhausted – my daughter woke up at 2:00 in the morning, and I didn’t get back to sleep until almost 4:00 am.
• My partner and I had a squabble this morning.
• I spilled half of a brand new bottle of a liquid iron supplement, which of course is dark brown and sticky, all over the dishes that had just been washed.
• I *actually* decided to shave my legs this morning in an attempt to feel more human, and I realize I missed an entire stripe on my shin.
• I had COVID back in November and my sense of taste and smell still haven’t fully returned, so my hot tea with honey isn’t as comforting as usual.
• The milk was expired.

Now, if you’re reading this and thinking “wahhh, wahhh, poor me”, well… you may very well be right. However, I’ll tell you – whenever I sit down and make myself write out everything that’s contributing to my yuck-it list, it accomplishes 3 important things: 

1. It gives me an outlet – the things that I end up writing down are no longer living as loudly in my head, slowly siphoning my energy and attention.
2. I gain some perspective. In this case – holy schnikes! That really was a rough start to the day! (Bonus insight – why am I bothering to try and shave my legs on a Monday morning??)
3. I’m now able to create informed intentional actions in active response to the reality of my headspace rather than “just grinding through” or trying to force some of my functionality. WHEW. 

So today, writing the yuck-it list gave me some peace. It chilled out the chatter in my mind that was taking away from my ability to fully focus on work. I realized that I really did need to give myself some of that “space and grace” I’m always encouraging other people to take. And based on that awareness and resultant calm in my headspace, I rescheduled a meeting that wasn’t time-sensitive so I had some extra breathing room. 

There, I feel better already.