“I receive that.”
This little sentence arrived like a gift this morning. I was speaking at a women’s leadership event, and there was a conversation around building confidence and accepting compliments. One of the attendees shared that she often struggled to really integrate positive feedback she received. Even when she knew she did a good job and was receiving recognition or kudos from those around her, she often didn’t “let them in.”
Then, she shared a three-word sentence that was a game-changer: “I receive this.” She overheard one of her supervisors use this phrase with someone else, and she’s been incorporating it as a way to help receive and integrate the good things people are sharing.
I freaking LOVE this. It’s exceedingly common for high-achievers to reject compliments, accolades, and praise. We deflect out of a sense of what we often disguise as humility but can in fact actually be an inability to allow ourselves to believe something so good about ourselves. We push back with a deferential, self-deprecating, “Oh, it was nothing,” or “It wasn’t all that great.” We give “good luck” the credit instead of our own hard work and talents.
Instead, how amazing would it be – how much more amazing could YOU be – if you were to receive and integrate that praise instead? I’m not looking for big heads and oversized egos here, but how much more powerful could we continue to become and what else could we develop if we allowed ourselves to receive the goodness offered to us by others? For me, I know it makes me feel more expansive, more able, willing, and equipped to offer back to others in return. It also helps me know where my skills lie and where I can continue to grow and develop. I build more meaningful, honest relationships. I even glow a little brighter!
I’m in a restaurant as I’m writing this, and there’s a meeting with about 20 people across the room. The lead person just thanked the volunteers and said, “Thank you to the volunteers who helped get this set up, you’re amazing!” and then kept right on talking. I wonder what it would be like to offer that sort of praise more intentionally and directly, trusting that the person to whom you were offering it was truly receiving it. And for those volunteers, what else might they be capable of with that extra boost of motivation and appreciation?
Keep an eye out for your next compliment- I would love for you to receive it. Then notice how it feels and what that does for you.